So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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