I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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