Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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