i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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