i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
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My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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