Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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