i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize