I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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