How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
