Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
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P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
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My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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