Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize