My friends, they love my intelligence
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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