dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
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If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
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It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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