Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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