my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize