took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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