Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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