I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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