i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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