I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize