defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
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She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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