is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize