Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize