This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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