peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize