i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
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He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
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Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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