I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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