a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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