I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize