The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I can't turn off my feet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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