babies were throwing up all over the place
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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