He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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