1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
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Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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