Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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