halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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