He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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