But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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