it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
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How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
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You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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