I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize