Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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