last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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