omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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