the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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