idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
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I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
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It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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