somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
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Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
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He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Dicks are not precious.
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