We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize