How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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