Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
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He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
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He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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