If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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