Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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